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Have you ever sent a message to someone only to receive no answer? Or even called them, and they never picked up? Well, you could be ghosted. Ghosting is a new trend that started on the dating scene and has now picked up steam in the workplace, but what are the rules of it and how can you differentiate it from someone being overwhelmed?
Read this mini article to find out how to respond to ghosting at work.
Jim Frawney, CEO of Bellwether, asks how “poor dating etiquette leaked all over the workplace?” for Chief Executive, and that’s a great question. Ghosting, for starters, originated as a dating term when people out of nowhere stop replying to texts and calls. So, how is it that something so unprofessional morphed into the workplace ghosting trend?
First of all, it’s not just employees ghosting companies, as 77% of employees report having received a verbal job offer, only for hiring authorities to go dark on them out of the sudden. On the other hand, 76% of employers report having been ghosted in the last twelve months. This has had a rise ever since the pandemic.
“Attitudes are shifting—employees are more selective when presented with a choice, and thus demanding more from their employers, including respect.”
Frawney points out that historically, ghosting has always been part of the cycles of the workforce, but it was most likely the employer who ghosted the candidate rather than this new version. With platforms such as LinkedIn and Indeed, applying for a job and thus finding candidates is easier than ever, but this can lead to a two-way lack of time. As candidates can find many jobs to apply to, they can lose track of the ones they’re thoroughly considering and the ones they applied for just because. The same things go with hiring authorities who might get too many applications. This can lead to communication breaking, as nobody has time to answer all the emails, especially once interest is no longer on the table.
He continues to explain that corporate ghosting goes beyond the application process, especially as people began finding different income avenues beyond a single job. With the rise of remote work and its challenges, some people found loopholes to have more than one job.
Even with this last point, he lays the fault of workplace ghosting squarely at the companies’ feet. He argues that they should be the ones to set a nimble and clear process that weeds out applicants into a manageable number to create consistent communication. This should be maintained even after hire.
Now, there’s a different kind of ghosting: workplace ghosting, in which employees ignore one another. Kristi DePaul explores this topic in a piece for Harvard Business Review, as well as its effects on people and why others do it.
So, how many types of ghosting are out there? According to DePaul, at least six, at stages of a career. This is troubling, as this type of lack of manners can harm more than the person doing the ghosting. So, let’s break them down:
1. Job application interview: Where either the hiring authority, recruiter, or applicant completely goes dark without an explanation while in the process.
2. Hiring: Even after a job is offered, candidates report that it doesn’t mean they will actually receive a contract or a job.
3. Onboarding: On the other hand, the company may offer the job and provide the start date and all materials, and still, the candidate may not present themselves or ditch them during onboarding. This is also known as career catfishing.
4. Quitting: Whenever someone feels like leaving a job, for whatever reason, and just stops showing up, becoming untreaceable. This can happen in a regular office job or a remote one.
5. Networking: Happens when people begin a conversation through emails or LinkedIn, and one of them suddenly stops replying, or when they meet in real life only to get ignored when trying to pursue an online conversation.
6. Pitching: Commonly occurs whenever people are cold-calling or messaging, receiving certain interest from their prospects, only to be ghosted.
Maybe after reading all of this, you’ve come to the realization that you have ghosted someone. Sadly, ghosting has been normalized, and when there’s a need for constant communication that’s always on your pocket, it can be normal to completely forget to answer back—even if there’s no malicious intent behind this gesture.
“The person who initially violated the social contract (e.g., abruptly leaving an otherwise pleasant exchange in total silence) may feel there’s no way to bring the conversation back on track.”
Instead of mulling over past mistakes, DePaul advises trying to follow up on lost conversations if you find yourself a ghost. That way, you at least have the chance to apologize and may get the opportunity to reconnect on some important topic.
There is a big chance you have also been ghosted, so what to do when ghosted at work? Forbes has two articles about it, the first one written by Benjamin Larker, is all about recognizing when you have been ghosted; the second one is all about what to do about it and how to avoid it, by Brian Robinson, PhD. Let’s break them down.
People aren’t always ghosting you if they don’t reply immediately to your requests. They can be busy, or it might honestly slip their mind. Ghosting isn’t that; it’s a very deliberate ignoring tactic, and at work, it can feel like schoolground bullying. So, what are the signs an employee is ignoring you?
The first thing is to recognize if you’re being ignored. A red flag can be if someone who used to be responsive or even friendly suddenly stops replying to your emails and messages, or taking your calls without a good explanation. Before letting the panic settle, consider that they could be on vacation, or dealing with personal issues, or even just overwhelmed.
Another big sign that you’re being ghosted is if you’re not being called to meetings and projects. A big part of growing in your career is being part of projects and meetings, so if you’re being sidelined intentionally from tasks you were previously involved with, it could have real repercussions in your trajectory. The third sign it’s not in your head is that interactions have changed, people have stopped chatting as easily, or you detect some reluctance or evasiveness that wasn’t there before.
If there is a change in delegation and feedback, those are signs four and five, and you might be facing quiet firing. No need to panic, though; you could request a one-on-one with your supervisor to get valuable feedback and insights into what’s happening and how you can turn it around.
“Remember, open communication and seeking clarity are key to resolving such issues and maintaining a positive, productive work environment.”
But how can you avoid it from happening again? Brian Johnson’s article offers four steps to make clarity king in every professional interaction.
Ghosting isn’t a new phenomenon, but it has been on the rise ever since the pandemic. Hybrid and remote teams have many benefits, but we shouldn’t lose sight of the downsides, like the loss of immediate communication. Still, this shouldn’t be a nail in the coffin for any good team or manager. What we can all do is set clear and specific processes, deadlines, and communication methods by taking advantage of the tech and tools.
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